DEATH AND THE DYING | Eldercare Tips | Caregiver Tips

Posted on September 6, 2012 - by Nurse Virginia

(Part I)

It wasn?t supposed to end like this. Mary looks at her calendar on the wall and yes it was still August 2012, and there they were written, her husband?s appointments. The date George was going to the doctor about this terrible pain that had been growing in his abdomen, causing him such nausea that he couldn?t keep down any food.

There was the date the next week when they would hear the results of the tests and hear the ?plan? the doctors had put together to treat his pancreatic cancer. Yes, that pain had really been so much more than the flu bug that he thought he had caught. That day they had heard the dreadful news ? he no longer had the 3-9 months they had originally predicted. There was no plan only two choices go home and die at home or go to a hospice facility.

There was the date marked and the time that the hospice furniture would arrive, the social worker would come, the cell number of the nurse and the instructions she had left.

Mary stared at the date, in that last week of the month, the day George died. In the course of just one month, symptoms, diagnosis, plan, no plan, hospice and then his death.

George?s sister had died of cancer in July after a two year fight, battling her cancer all the way. One had two years, the other had not even a month to make decisions, plans and say good bye.

As unbelievable as the month had been for Mary, she had experienced a closeness of family and friends that she had always hoped would be there for her when she needed it. Above all, what had happened to Mary, what she couldn?t get over now, what it was that was giving her sleepless nights, was the way George died.

No one had told Mary what dying would look like. No one in the family had ever been with someone when they died. When George died Mary was there with her three adult children and a live-in caregiver, and no one knew what to expect and what to do.

It wasn?t supposed to be like this.

?

Virginia Garberding R.N.

Director of Education, The Wealshire, Lincolnshire, Illinois

Author: Please Get To Know Me ? Aging with Dignity and Relevance

www.pleasegettoknowme.com

Source: http://www.nursevirginiablog.com/2012/09/death-and-the-dying/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=death-and-the-dying

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